So, when I started this inspiration to write about my journey and discover around being a Working Mom (or not), I knew that one of the most critical points for success was that I needed to be consistent about posting. And here I am over a month since my last post. Forgive me Google for I have sinned...
I know if I had been working, none of these excuses would have been valid because I would have had to push through everything anyways getting kids to daycare and getting to work. My main excuse would be that I no longer have 'TIME'. But my excuse today is, we travelled back to Canada, dealt with 12.5 hours jetlag two ways, with sick kids to boot on the 28 hours of travel time back to Singapore (3 flights!). So, given that we slept through New Years, I have now adopted Chinese New Year as my new fresh start. Clean out the cobwebs and celebrate!
I was shocked at how much confidence I have lost in myself over the past 6 months since I have moved here. I know when I arrived, I was ready to kick butt on getting settled, meet new people, help out my old job and get a new one. But that drive has somehow turned to survival, and survival it has been.
The choice to be a "SAHM" (Stay at Home Mom) is a valiant one. Aside from the deep love for your children (that we all have), it is a drive to create a life experience for your children at home. It is a gift and a skill and by no means an opt-out of the working world. I think for many, it may start out as such - so many people are uninspired in their jobs that the opportunity to be a SAHM is like a the white light at the end of a dark tunnel. And for some, that light turns out to be a beautiful sunny playground. But, for a few others, that light might have well been a train.
My identity over the past 20 years has been a working professional. I have been committed to my work causes and passionate about my company, teams, colleagues and clients. Becoming a working mom after my first daughter in 2009, I was all of that and also a mom - "SUPERWOMAN!" as I strived to be. There is no doubt that the stress of being a great mom, wife, friend, employee, leader and community participant was great, almost too great but never did I expect that the stress of not having that definition would be worse. Maybe it is stress, maybe a bit of depression but I know longer know how to feel AWESOME about myself. It just seems that I don't have what it takes to be "SUPERMOM".
It is definitely time to get my MOJO, in a real way. Despite putting 150% into a couple of job pursuits, nothing has come to fruition so I am looking at some contracts and volunteer opportunities to get me out of the house. Maybe I will then be able to validate that I really want to be a working mom with an contract opt out at the end :)
I will also continue my research on Working Mom's. My goal is to start publishing my feature articles in March!
Gōng Xǐ Fā Cái. Congratulations and Prosperity. The Year of the Dragon comes about once of twelve years. This year is considered the year of luck because the a part of the Chinese Dragon meaning is good fortune in the areas of health, wealth and living a long, prosperous life. It is believed that anyone who holds an emblem of this divine mythical animal will be protected and safe.
This is my year!
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