Michelle Gorman's 3 step process to Awesomeness...
1) Set a Goal
2) Act the Part
3) Achieve the Goal
Okay, so a bit silly alright. But, it is something that makes sense when caught between chaos and uncertainty.
I have always been driven by goals. In school, it was the next project, test, grade, etc. In fact, after graduating, like so many others, working surprised me when it no longer seemed like a goal - rather "oh my god, am I going to do this the rest of my life". It took me a little while to get it, but once I established my own goals and milestones at work, I was back off to the races, motivated and success soon followed.
Since 'getting a job' is a goal... yet with factors out of my control (i.e. finding the right job and being the right candidate), I have decided to create a goal that I can manage and achieve within my own mental and physical abilities.
BINTAN TRIATHLON - May 26th, 2012. I have dabbled in triathlons, did a couple of Try-A-Tri's before my beautiful babes but so far, even a Sprint Distance Triathlon has intimidated me. 750 m swim, 20 km bike and 5 km run. Hah! If I don't drown, crash my bike or just plain old die running - I should be able to complete it.
So, now that the money is paid - my motivation is in place, a gentle reminder on my credit card not to waste this opportunity.
NOW - Act the part. A few years ago, my husband gave me a necklace with the image of a girl running on it. It was one of those gifts that I've always resented (sorry sweetie). I know it was a freebie or mistake included in a shipment from a biking order my husband placed. Instead of giving it to me directly, he included it as part of my birthday present. So, am I really that shallow to let it bother me - well, maybe. The deep down problem is that I am not a runner. I don't think of myself as one, nor do I like running. But, I run.
After I signed up for the triathlon, I dug the necklace out of the bottom of my jewellry box and put it on. I kept looking at it in the mirror and thinking, I shouldn't wear this, I am not a runner, who am I fooling. But the reality is, I may not be a runner but I love the benefits of running and I need to run to accomplish my goal (triathlon) which I am very motivated to do. So, now, every time I look in the mirror, I see Michelle - the woman who runs in order to reach her goals and I am proud. Just ask me in 4 months how I did on my tri...
Now, to the professional side, my goal is to find a stimulating engagement that challenges my brain, gets me socially interactive with like minded driven people and sure, get compensated for it. WORK.
My goal - get a job. My act the part - dress for success, network with inspiring people and thank those who are amazing to connect me, and be me - at all costs.
My achievement - keep posted. I am so excited with the meetings and connections that I have made and have pending that I know my enthusiasm will drive the SUPER ME and it will just be a matter of time before something ABSOLUTELY AMAZING falls into place.
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
A Cardinal Sin and Getting My MOJO Back
So, when I started this inspiration to write about my journey and discover around being a Working Mom (or not), I knew that one of the most critical points for success was that I needed to be consistent about posting. And here I am over a month since my last post. Forgive me Google for I have sinned...
I know if I had been working, none of these excuses would have been valid because I would have had to push through everything anyways getting kids to daycare and getting to work. My main excuse would be that I no longer have 'TIME'. But my excuse today is, we travelled back to Canada, dealt with 12.5 hours jetlag two ways, with sick kids to boot on the 28 hours of travel time back to Singapore (3 flights!). So, given that we slept through New Years, I have now adopted Chinese New Year as my new fresh start. Clean out the cobwebs and celebrate!
I was shocked at how much confidence I have lost in myself over the past 6 months since I have moved here. I know when I arrived, I was ready to kick butt on getting settled, meet new people, help out my old job and get a new one. But that drive has somehow turned to survival, and survival it has been.
The choice to be a "SAHM" (Stay at Home Mom) is a valiant one. Aside from the deep love for your children (that we all have), it is a drive to create a life experience for your children at home. It is a gift and a skill and by no means an opt-out of the working world. I think for many, it may start out as such - so many people are uninspired in their jobs that the opportunity to be a SAHM is like a the white light at the end of a dark tunnel. And for some, that light turns out to be a beautiful sunny playground. But, for a few others, that light might have well been a train.
My identity over the past 20 years has been a working professional. I have been committed to my work causes and passionate about my company, teams, colleagues and clients. Becoming a working mom after my first daughter in 2009, I was all of that and also a mom - "SUPERWOMAN!" as I strived to be. There is no doubt that the stress of being a great mom, wife, friend, employee, leader and community participant was great, almost too great but never did I expect that the stress of not having that definition would be worse. Maybe it is stress, maybe a bit of depression but I know longer know how to feel AWESOME about myself. It just seems that I don't have what it takes to be "SUPERMOM".
It is definitely time to get my MOJO, in a real way. Despite putting 150% into a couple of job pursuits, nothing has come to fruition so I am looking at some contracts and volunteer opportunities to get me out of the house. Maybe I will then be able to validate that I really want to be a working mom with an contract opt out at the end :)
I will also continue my research on Working Mom's. My goal is to start publishing my feature articles in March!
Gōng Xǐ Fā Cái. Congratulations and Prosperity. The Year of the Dragon comes about once of twelve years. This year is considered the year of luck because the a part of the Chinese Dragon meaning is good fortune in the areas of health, wealth and living a long, prosperous life. It is believed that anyone who holds an emblem of this divine mythical animal will be protected and safe.
This is my year!
I know if I had been working, none of these excuses would have been valid because I would have had to push through everything anyways getting kids to daycare and getting to work. My main excuse would be that I no longer have 'TIME'. But my excuse today is, we travelled back to Canada, dealt with 12.5 hours jetlag two ways, with sick kids to boot on the 28 hours of travel time back to Singapore (3 flights!). So, given that we slept through New Years, I have now adopted Chinese New Year as my new fresh start. Clean out the cobwebs and celebrate!
I was shocked at how much confidence I have lost in myself over the past 6 months since I have moved here. I know when I arrived, I was ready to kick butt on getting settled, meet new people, help out my old job and get a new one. But that drive has somehow turned to survival, and survival it has been.
The choice to be a "SAHM" (Stay at Home Mom) is a valiant one. Aside from the deep love for your children (that we all have), it is a drive to create a life experience for your children at home. It is a gift and a skill and by no means an opt-out of the working world. I think for many, it may start out as such - so many people are uninspired in their jobs that the opportunity to be a SAHM is like a the white light at the end of a dark tunnel. And for some, that light turns out to be a beautiful sunny playground. But, for a few others, that light might have well been a train.
My identity over the past 20 years has been a working professional. I have been committed to my work causes and passionate about my company, teams, colleagues and clients. Becoming a working mom after my first daughter in 2009, I was all of that and also a mom - "SUPERWOMAN!" as I strived to be. There is no doubt that the stress of being a great mom, wife, friend, employee, leader and community participant was great, almost too great but never did I expect that the stress of not having that definition would be worse. Maybe it is stress, maybe a bit of depression but I know longer know how to feel AWESOME about myself. It just seems that I don't have what it takes to be "SUPERMOM".
It is definitely time to get my MOJO, in a real way. Despite putting 150% into a couple of job pursuits, nothing has come to fruition so I am looking at some contracts and volunteer opportunities to get me out of the house. Maybe I will then be able to validate that I really want to be a working mom with an contract opt out at the end :)
I will also continue my research on Working Mom's. My goal is to start publishing my feature articles in March!
Gōng Xǐ Fā Cái. Congratulations and Prosperity. The Year of the Dragon comes about once of twelve years. This year is considered the year of luck because the a part of the Chinese Dragon meaning is good fortune in the areas of health, wealth and living a long, prosperous life. It is believed that anyone who holds an emblem of this divine mythical animal will be protected and safe.
This is my year!
Monday, 5 December 2011
Calling all Moms...
Working or not. If you are interested in being interviewed on your views about being a working mom.
I am looking for a minimum of 10 women to interview as part of a series on being a working mom (or not). Please email me your interest to theoryofaworkingmom@gmail.com.
In particular, I will be looking for a mix of women who:
1) Elect to work although have the means to stay at home.
2) Have to work because they don't have the means to stay at home (and wish they could).
3) Elect to stay at home.
4) Are self employed to work from home.
Although I suspect my connections will provide me with women from Canada and Singapore, I would like this to be as geographically, culturally and economically diverse as possible.
In addition, I'd love to have a mix of industries from social care (health, education, etc.) to business professionals to technicians.
Looking forward to sharing the stories of the women who struggle with balancing home and work, finance and family, self fulfilment, guilt and hope.
Michelle
I am looking for a minimum of 10 women to interview as part of a series on being a working mom (or not). Please email me your interest to theoryofaworkingmom@gmail.com.
In particular, I will be looking for a mix of women who:
1) Elect to work although have the means to stay at home.
2) Have to work because they don't have the means to stay at home (and wish they could).
3) Elect to stay at home.
4) Are self employed to work from home.
Although I suspect my connections will provide me with women from Canada and Singapore, I would like this to be as geographically, culturally and economically diverse as possible.
In addition, I'd love to have a mix of industries from social care (health, education, etc.) to business professionals to technicians.
Looking forward to sharing the stories of the women who struggle with balancing home and work, finance and family, self fulfilment, guilt and hope.
Michelle
Thursday, 1 December 2011
How to get a job in a new...
country, industry, position, organization?
RESEARCH. PREPARATION. CONFIDENCE.
As I have started my pursuit of employment in a new country, I have been told several times by companies, recruiters and colleagues that I will have a tough time finding work because I do not have any experience in the AsiaPac market. Hmmm, considering the extraordinary number of expat business people in the region, I find this quite amusing - and of course, an immediate challenge.
I am sure that most of the top performers that companies have spent multiples of salary to relocate to the region have had little experience in the market as well. (Including the expat potential employers who are sitting across the table from me giving me this advice!) What these expats do bring is expertise in their field and the ability to affect change through a new lens.
Now what I have to do, as a prospect, is find ways to connect my depth of experience to the positions at hand. I need to figure out the objections to my lack of market knowledge before they arise. No different than selling a product - just this time, the product is me! And this applies to any job, company, industry, market, etc.
1. Do your research. If you want it bad enough, you will make the time to figure things out. In my case, this means a lot of time on the computer figuring out the leading influencers and information resources in the area. Marketing associations, IT publications, business think tanks and credible news sources. Knowing the top 5 trends, figuring out the current newsworthy story, and understanding the players will go a lot further than just surfing the companies website.
2. Preparation. Today, I spent the morning going line by line through a job posting. I listed out my qualitative and quantitative attributes to support my fit for the role. I have my working examples, references and sample work all ready. I have listed out the negatives, where I have gaps (I definitely don't speak Mandarin so that is not an asset for me!) but also how I will overcome the gaps or how I will work around them. I have noted questions on requirements that I don't understand. I feel prepared for my interview and also confident that so far, on paper, I am a great fit for the role.
3. Confidence. My absolutely best asset. One of my most enlightening moments of my career was when I realized that I don't have to be anyone but myself. In an interview, a business meeting, as a manager or at home. Just me. With all of the good, the bad and the interesting - that's what I bring to the table. And the reality is that there is a job out there that fits me. It will have some good, some bad and it will be interesting - to me. If I am trying too hard to fit into a job or convince a potential boss to hire me - it probably isn't the right job for me. When it fits in an interview - it will fit on the job and I will be fulfilled at work and feel right in my own skin because I am not trying to be someone I am not.
If you are looking for (or have found) a new job, a new company, a new market - let me know how you were successful.
RESEARCH. PREPARATION. CONFIDENCE.
As I have started my pursuit of employment in a new country, I have been told several times by companies, recruiters and colleagues that I will have a tough time finding work because I do not have any experience in the AsiaPac market. Hmmm, considering the extraordinary number of expat business people in the region, I find this quite amusing - and of course, an immediate challenge.
I am sure that most of the top performers that companies have spent multiples of salary to relocate to the region have had little experience in the market as well. (Including the expat potential employers who are sitting across the table from me giving me this advice!) What these expats do bring is expertise in their field and the ability to affect change through a new lens.
Now what I have to do, as a prospect, is find ways to connect my depth of experience to the positions at hand. I need to figure out the objections to my lack of market knowledge before they arise. No different than selling a product - just this time, the product is me! And this applies to any job, company, industry, market, etc.
1. Do your research. If you want it bad enough, you will make the time to figure things out. In my case, this means a lot of time on the computer figuring out the leading influencers and information resources in the area. Marketing associations, IT publications, business think tanks and credible news sources. Knowing the top 5 trends, figuring out the current newsworthy story, and understanding the players will go a lot further than just surfing the companies website.
2. Preparation. Today, I spent the morning going line by line through a job posting. I listed out my qualitative and quantitative attributes to support my fit for the role. I have my working examples, references and sample work all ready. I have listed out the negatives, where I have gaps (I definitely don't speak Mandarin so that is not an asset for me!) but also how I will overcome the gaps or how I will work around them. I have noted questions on requirements that I don't understand. I feel prepared for my interview and also confident that so far, on paper, I am a great fit for the role.
3. Confidence. My absolutely best asset. One of my most enlightening moments of my career was when I realized that I don't have to be anyone but myself. In an interview, a business meeting, as a manager or at home. Just me. With all of the good, the bad and the interesting - that's what I bring to the table. And the reality is that there is a job out there that fits me. It will have some good, some bad and it will be interesting - to me. If I am trying too hard to fit into a job or convince a potential boss to hire me - it probably isn't the right job for me. When it fits in an interview - it will fit on the job and I will be fulfilled at work and feel right in my own skin because I am not trying to be someone I am not.
If you are looking for (or have found) a new job, a new company, a new market - let me know how you were successful.
Monday, 28 November 2011
My brain is like an Elite Athlete...
... in the sense that since I have stopped using my business skills, my brain muscle has turned to flab. After one year on mat leave, I have lost the ability to remember phone numbers (if my husband wasn't on speed dial, I don't think I'd be able to get in touch with him), names or even that fact that I had a pot on the stove.
Is it day after day of babbling to my baby and answering "Why Mommy?" with 'because it is" or "why do you think the Wiggles are dancing?" to my toddler or is it just the pure lack of sleep between teething, potty training and kiddy nightmares that has caused the attrition? Or maybe, it is just because I am now 40 and I am destined to not only mommy brain, but progressive memory loss as well.
So, as I start interviewing again, my inability to recall names of bosses, theories of operations and generally just make sense is sure to be a detriment.
My solution? - become a working mom without the work. Getting a job is work, so why am I not treating it so? It is time to start getting up in the morning, dressing for success, shuffling the kids off to school and a caregivers and going to work. This week, it means two mornings I am working at getting a new job aside from the frantic midnight responses to recruiters emails.
I will be reading and reviewing industry postings, searching job boards and contacting anyone in my LinkedIn network who possibly can open a door. Maybe with a little 'training' my brain will start getting back into shape. I think it will be a while yet before I feel that I am back in the 'show', but rehab for anyone takes baby steps!
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Who am I?
This is not the who am I as in "My name is Michelle Gorman...". This is the who am I as in "my entire life has changed course and I am redefining who I am.
The title of this blog - Theory of a Working Mom is a bit misleading as I am currently not working. Partly because I am taking advantage of Canada's mat leave benefits for a year and partly because I have made the decision to temporarily resign as a working professional and become a "SAHM" - for now. My husband was offered an amazing opportunity to move from Canada to Singapore and I have become a trailing spouse. Much more emotional baggage with that than I even imagined!
I have decided that I needed both a creative outlet as well as a forum for discussion to understand what my role in the world is now and to find others that struggle with mommy guilt, career judgement and balance.
Please follow me as I explore my journey on returning to work and dealing with the responsibilities and joys of being a parent.
The title of this blog - Theory of a Working Mom is a bit misleading as I am currently not working. Partly because I am taking advantage of Canada's mat leave benefits for a year and partly because I have made the decision to temporarily resign as a working professional and become a "SAHM" - for now. My husband was offered an amazing opportunity to move from Canada to Singapore and I have become a trailing spouse. Much more emotional baggage with that than I even imagined!
I have decided that I needed both a creative outlet as well as a forum for discussion to understand what my role in the world is now and to find others that struggle with mommy guilt, career judgement and balance.
Please follow me as I explore my journey on returning to work and dealing with the responsibilities and joys of being a parent.
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